Lived experience matters - Domestic Abuse Commissioner

Hearing from victims and survivors of domestic abuse is integral to the work of the Domestic Abuse Commissioner, helping to ensure her recommendations for change are led by the lived reality of people subject to domestic abuse.

That’s why the first priority of the Domestic Abuse Commissioner’s strategic plan is to stand with and for victims and survivors of domestic abuse.

When the voices of those who have lived through and who have been subjected to domestic abuse are centred and listened to, services and agencies can improve their response so that all victims and survivors get the support and protection they need.

Our principles of survivor engagement

There is no “us and them”. Every workplace will be home to many survivors of domestic abuse. Victims and survivors are professionals and vice versa.

There is no one voice to represent victims and survivors – there are as many types of victims and survivors as there are people.

Not all voices are heard equally and those with platforms and microphones should actively seek to amplify those that are less likely to be heard.

Victims and survivors are free to share as much or as little as they choose. People subject to domestic abuse can tell us what they want to see change without having to explain and repeat their story.

Engagement does not only mean consultation. Victims and survivors should have the space to influence what matters to them, not just comment on what matters to organisations.

I am thinking of taking part in survivor engagement

What kind of activities does survivor engagement involve?

Common forms of engagement are questionnaires, one-to-one interviews or one-off focus groups on a specific issue.

It can also be taking part in research or sharing your story for the media. Some organisations run groups whose purpose is to create a space for victims and survivors to influence change.

Survivor engagement can be online or in person, depending on the type of activity.

Is there anything I shouldn’t talk about?

The most important thing is to consider what parts of your experience you are willing to share and to who. You do not need to tell anyone anything you don’t wish to. It is your choice.

Legally there are some areas to consider before speaking out:

Women’s Aid have a fantastic resource called Breaking the Silence. It contains extensive guidance of what to think about when considering sharing your experience in public spaces or with the media.

It also addresses the issue of libel. If the person who abused you has not been convicted of an offence, the perpetrator could sue you for defamation.

Survivors who are subject to Family Court proceedings also have limitations of speaking out about their experiences. The government has a guidance document outlining exactly who you can speak to and why.

Can I participate in survivor engagement if I am currently experiencing domestic abuse?

We understand that there are as many types of victims and survivors as there are people. Some will want to participate whilst still being subjected to domestic abuse. Some will not.

If you are currently experiencing domestic abuse you may wish to access support from a domestic abuse service. They can help with things like your safety, and your wellbeing.

Always call 999 if you or someone else is in danger.

We do not aim to be prescriptive as to who can participate but we are mindful of risk. We understand that some victims and survivors may be experiencing long term post-separation abuse and feel that survivor engagement is a positive experience for them.

We suggest you share with whoever is leading the activity/project that your experience is current. A good engagement project will help assess whether involvement is a safe and positive option for you.

Often engagement will lead to a digital trail of emails. Refuge have tailored advice for survivors regarding keeping safe online.

You may wish to:
– Use a phone or computer the person you are worried about doesn’t have access to – like a friend’s phone, or work phone
– Use the private or ‘incognito’ mode in your browser
– Sign out of accounts such as Google or Facebook before searching the web or on video sites like YouTube

On the Domestic Abuse Commissioner’s website you will see exit site buttons which will instantly take you to a general search page, if you needed to hide what you were looking at.

You may also need to delete your internet history if you have concerns that your internet use is being monitored. Please note the quick exit button will not remove search history and you would need to ensure this is done separately.

How can I tell if survivor engagement is right for me?

If you are currently receiving support for the domestic abuse you have experienced, it might be helpful to discuss with your support worker whether it is right for you, right now.

Click here to access a self-audit checklist. It was devised by survivors in Australia, working with Safe and Equal, so that you can reflect whether you are in the right place to be involved.

It covers multiple questions but here are a few:
– Do I really want to participate or am I feeling that I should?
– How will I manage the emotions associated with talking about domestic abuse?
– What strategies will I use if someone reacts negatively or judgmentally to my expertise?
– Are there any ongoing risks posed by the person who abused me?
– Am I involved in any ongoing legal proceedings that may be jeopardised by participating as an expert by experience?

Some of the questions, there may not be a ‘correct’ answer to, but they will help you decide whether to get involved.

You may find that asking these questions makes you want to access support, if so, click here to go to the I need Help page which outlines all the different kinds of support available.

What sort of questions might I ask to decide if survivor engagement is right for me?

In addition to the self-audit checklist that may help you decide if taking part in survivor engagement is right for you at the moment, you may want to consider the following questions in relation to a specific opportunity:
– What is the time commitment?
– What is the purpose?
– Is it online or in person?
– Are they covering expenses for travel?
– Are they offering payment/vouchers for my time?
– Is support offered alongside the activity?
– Can I change my mind at any time?
– Who is running the activity?
– What experience does that person have?
– Do I have to share my identity?
– What procedures are in place to keep me safe?

What can I expect from survivor engagement opportunities with the Domestic Abuse Commissioner’s Office?

When survivors engage with the Domestic Abuse Commissioner, they can expect that:
– Survivor engagement will be purposeful,
– Survivor engagement will be ethical,
– Survivors will always be treated with dignity and respect,
– Survivors will be informed of outcomes and the results of any engagement where possible.

For full details of how we work with survivors, please see our Survivor Engagement policy.

Is there advice available for victims and survivors, and their families, who want to speak to the media?

IPSO have a guide: Contact with the media: A guide for survivors and victims of domestic abuse and their families

Women’s Aid also have a resource – Break the Silence: Telling your story – which includes tips on engaging with the media.

I want to involve survivor voices in my policy, research or practice development

Is there a framework or toolkit that I can use to develop how I work with victims and survivors?

There are several organisations who have worked with survivors to create resources for people planning survivor engagement work.

Imkaan and the Women’s Aid Federations in Northern Ireland, Scotland, England and Wales have a toolkit for engaging survivors in domestic abuse work: A guide to meaningful survivor engagement.

One of the most comprehensive ones is Welsh Women’s Aid’s Survivor Engagement Toolkit which was developed alongside victims and survivors, and outlines clearly paths to meaningful participation.

Safelives have created a guide to developing survivor voice. It is largely targeted towards Local Authorities who are trying to engage survivors. The guidance also includes contact details of other organisations which might be useful.

Safe and Equal, from Melbourne Australia, have one of the most robust frameworks and additional resources on their webpages, which are available to download.

Are there other resources available that might help?

Please see the following resources which may assist your thinking in delivering survivor engagement.

The Value of Lived Experience in Social Change (Baljeet Sandhu)

The Charter for Engaging Survivors (Survivors Voices)

Survivor Involvement Ladder (Survivors Voices)

‘4Pi’ Involvement Standards (National Survivor User Network)

A Meeting of Minds: How co-production benefits people, professionals, and organisations (Jo Woodall, Ewan Davison, Julia Parnaby, Anne-Mari Hall)

‘Beneficial but triggering’: Experiences and support of survivor speakers in the UK (VictimFocus)

What can I do to ensure the organisation I work with is ready to engage with victims and survivors?

As part of their resources, Safe and Equal have an audit for organisations to undertake. You can find it in Appendix 3a of this document.

It is a really comprehensive list of policies, procedures, and the thinking that organisations need to undertake in order to engage survivors meaningfully and safely.

What is considered good practice in supporting and remunerating victims and survivors?

If your agency or organisation doesn’t have the internal expertise or specific trained staff to offer support to survivors, the DAC recommends approaching Domestic Abuse Support providers to understand local referral pathways, risk management and safe survivor engagement.

Survivor engagement and consultation is not without cost, so you may wish to consider this before approaching Domestic Abuse Support services.

The DAC recognises that good practice is to offer payment (in monies, vouchers or sometimes with skills exchange) direct to survivors for engagement. It is also good practice where practicable to offer reasonable expenses for travel and childcare.

In order to amplify voices which are not always heard, it would be good practice to consider the barriers to participation eg language, childcare, sign language, easy read, technological access etc. It may not be practical to address all these considerations each time and so it is suggested to assess the needs of the survivors you are wanting to engage.

How can I promote my organisation’s survivor engagement opportunity via the VOICES platform?

We ask that anyone who wishes to promote a survivor engagement opportunity from their organisation completes this form.

We follow a process of due diligence to ensure that the engagement opportunity is safe and appropriate for victims and survivors.