To coincide with World Children’s Day today, Buttle UK have written a guest blog about how they support children affected by domestic abuse.
Please note that this blog discusses child abuse.
About Buttle UK
Buttle UK has been a grant maker supporting children and young people since 1954. We offer grants for children who live in poverty and have experienced a serious traumatic crisis.
Applications for children and young people are made to us by 700+ frontline organisations across the UK, including social services, domestic abuse refuges, children’s charities, schools and health visitors. In 2023/24 we awarded £4.4m to help 6,364 of the most vulnerable children and young people in the UK.
Two thirds of all Buttle UK grants are awarded to families where domestic abuse was a key factor in the crisis they experienced. The most common applicant scenario across the thousands of applications we receive is:
- The family are in a refuge or entering a new home, having had to move because of abuse. They have little or no possessions.
- The children are waiting for a school place or have started in a new school, often in a new town or area.
- The perpetrator is holding the bank accounts and benefits, including child benefit payments, and the parent with the children is carrying debt, caused by economic abuse.
- When the family is placed in a new home, they rarely have carpet, furniture or personal belongings.
The social, emotional and economic challenges faced by children
The frontline professionals making applications to Buttle UK regularly and consistently describe the following challenges for the children and young people affected by domestic abuse.
Social and emotional challenges
- Ongoing impact of trauma including anger, low self-esteem and low confidence
- Poor mental health of both parent and children
- Loss of friends and support networks
- Time out from school and formal education
- Distrust of adults
- Behavioural issues at home and school
- Engaging in risky behaviour
- Replicating abuser behaviour
- Regression including bed-wetting
- Negative impact on development, including delayed speech
- Withdrawal and isolation, sometimes due to fear of seeing the perpetrator / being found
- Bullying at school
Economic challenges
- Loss of belongings including clothes and toys
- Loss of benefits
- No funds to replace or pay for furniture, clothes (including school uniform), toys, food and utilities
- Carrying debt incurred by economic abuse
- Long journeys to new or former schools costing time and money
Real stories from Buttle UK applications
The following three stories, just a small proportion of the applications received by Buttle in one month this year, illustrate the variety of problems children affected by domestic abuse typically experience.
Story 1
- Two primary school aged children moved into refuge with their mum after fleeing domestic abuse from mum’s former partner. The children witnessed the abuse.
- Because of the location of the refuge, the children became isolated from other family members. This impacted their mental health.
- To stay in their school, they had to catch eight buses a day, causing tiredness and financial stress.
Story 2
- Four children aged between 2 and 15 and their mother fled domestic abuse from their father. He had threatened that he would kill the children and there was emotional, physical and financial abuse towards mum.
- The eldest child is out of school because of poor mental health – they feel overwhelmed by starting a new school and taking new public transport.
- One child is very fearful of men, but her new school buddied her with a male student. She rarely leaves the refuge, and her mum is having to support her do things like take a bath and wash her hair.
- All the children are struggling with leaving most of their belongings, their friends and family behind. The youngest children struggle to trust adults and make new friends.
Story 3
- Six children (aged between 3 and 14) are in a shared 50/50 custody arrangement. There was long term domestic abuse which mum fled.
- The children still attend their original schools and must travel there while living with mum.
- Dad restricts access to personal items in their original home.
- The children have witnessed past abuse and violence.
- They are always tired from travelling to school. The children’s educational progress is impacted. They fear reprisals from dad and have been seen to use aggression to resolve problems at school.
How Buttle UK supports children and families
Buttle UK’s grants aim to be holistic and responsive to the individual needs of each child. They are focused on supporting young people achieve the following three objectives – live in a safe and secure home; increase engagement with education; and improve emotional wellbeing.
What next?
Early next year, the Domestic Abuse Commissioner will publish a policy report about babies, children and young people affected by domestic abuse. This is the Commissioner’s first major report on this issue.
This report will draw on a variety of data, including Buttle UK’ s data on children in crisis to make recommendations to government for supporting babies, children and young people affected by domestic abuse